All About Bentley

Well kids, I have a very special Christmas gift for you this year. I'm going to take my many years of experience in peaking at my Christmas presents, and share it with you. Today's lesson is how to unwrap and re-wrap a present without getting caught. Before we start lets go over some good tips: It's best to do this kind of work at night, when everyone is asleep. It's also a good rule to only do one or two presents a night. You will also need to have some supplies: 1. A knife or pair of scissors that can make a fine cut. And since kids aren't supposed to handle knives, I take no responsibility for the outcome of any actions that were a result of reading this document. 2. You need some scotch tape. Preferably tape matching whats on your present Ok now on to the sneakiness: Pick out the present(s) you want to snoop and move them near the front of the tree before you go to bed. After everyone is asleep, get up and take the present to another room, like the bathroom, wh

Well after 7 years of the Dodge Grand Caravan, we decided it was having too many problems so we bought a Toyota Sienna

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This year for my birthday, I decided that I wanted the family to go to "The Cracker Barrel". Nothing fancy, just a good filling meal. I've eaten there many times and never had much to comment on in regards to anything customer service related. This day was different though. After taking our order we never saw our waitress again. We were able to flag down some of the other waitresses and get what we needed but it was a bad experience. I could have talked to the manager but it was my birthday and I wasn't in the mood for getting all worked up. Sometimes when I get fired up I go a little too far. So basically, I just payed for my meal and let it go. But I couldn't let it go, it was festering inside of me. Finally about 2 months ago (my birthday was 10 months ago) I sent an email to their corporate office. I had an email response within about 1 day and the particular location that I visited had their manager call me a few days later. He talked to me about my experienc

Last year (2005) I conducted a little experiment with my email. I let every bit of junk email or "spam" go into a spam folder so I could see how much junk email I got in one year. The number at the end of the year was over 10,000 messages. I was now curious to see how 2006 would turn out, with the amount of spam growing all the time. Well we are now in November and I'd noticed lately how little spam I've received. The number is hovering around 2700. Where did all the spam go? I find it hard to believe that the amount of spam in the world is decreasing, so I started to do a little investigating. Didn't take long to find that my ISP has taken the attack on spam to a new level. While my spam settings are set to mark spam as such, and go ahead and deliver it to me, they have taken it upon themselves to throw it into a spam folder on their server, one that is accessed through their "Web Mail" interface. And it gets deleted after 2 weeks. I had 19 pages of spa

Line Rider - beta by * fsk on deviant ART

This morning my youngest son had a soccer game so the whole family loaded up in the van and headed out. About half way there, while in the left lane, with a car next to me in the right, I see something on the ground right in front of us. I realize what it is immediately but it's too late to hit the brakes and its not possible to swerve into the other lane. I would have been going too fast to get in the other lane in time anyway. And the "it" in question, was a big bucket of roofing nails that had fallen out of someone's trucks, and spilled all over the left lane. It was obvious what had happened because the bucket was lying in the left turn lane. Someone made a left turn, and their bucket of nails didn't. Anyway, I immediately feel nauseous as I drive over them, and am haunted by the words I recall saying to a group of co-workers a few days ago, "I've never had a flat before". All of a sudden I see how my day is going to shape up. I'm going to ha

I came across this blog entry just now. How cool, it will perform face recognition and tell you what celebrities you resemble. So I tried it. I decided not to post my full results as they did in their post, but I will mention 2 of my celebrity look-alikes. One, Mark Hamill . Cool, Luke Skywalker. Ok, well known, not super handsome or anything but I wasn't trying to kid myself. Celebrity number 2 that I'll mention, and this was quite insulting; former First Lady Barbara Bush. I don't know who should be more insulted, her or me. Anyway, check their website out for yourself at http://www.myheritage.com (Update 5 minutes later) Ok to add insult to injury this stupid application is quite accurate. I uploaded a picture of Brad Pitt and it matched him to himself with 97% accuracy. It also matched him to Topher Grace, Goran Visnjic, Nicolas Cage, David Boreanaz and Matt LeBlanc among others, and my point being here is that if you are a handsome man, you are likely to resemble othe

I'm up. Its 2:27am. I'm doing some testing for work. Things we can't do during the day. Super secret things that only qualified technicians such as myself can do. Or a monkey. Basically I'm pushing a button and then sitting back looking at some different screens. It's kind of like watching TV really, so I guess I am qualified. While not looking at the super highly technical screens I'm also spending time trying to beat my own record at "Monkey Kick Off" . Its good to have goals in life. I wonder if this is frowned upon. I'm working right now, but at the same time, I'm at home. And I won't be going into the office for a regular work day, so this counts for my 8 hour day. I will justify it by saying that because of the off hours I am allowed some perks. An additional perk that I may also take advantage of here in a few minutes is a big bowl of Frosted Flakes. No they're not on Phase 1, but neither am I.

First entry from my new phone

Hey see that advertisement over there to the right? That long skinny picture? Yeah thats it. Well everytime someone clicks on that, I earn money. And every time I earn $100 I get a big fat check. And I'm only $81.70 away from getting that. And I've only been doing this for a year. Thats right, only one year. So be the person that sends me over the top. Click that advertisement today! Put me over the $100 mark and I can retire sooner than my portfolio would suggest. Thank you people, thank you.

Here are a few things I overheard while at my in-laws this past weekend: "You probably haven't seen that much weiner since high school" "Oh yeah, I've had your meat before".

I'm working on a big project at work this week. Something that is excusing me from the normal interruptions that typically consume about 75% of my time. To help keep me moving forward, instead of listening to my music softly through my PC speakers as I usually do, I've put in my earbuds and cranked it up. I had to take a restroom break a little while ago, so I pulled out my earbuds and headed down the hall. Upon finishing my business and turning around to head towards the sink, I caught site of myself in the mirror. What the heck is that....that black thing in my ear. Oh its the cover for my ear bud...just sitting in there....nice.

I'm only sharing the following video because I wanted to test my new YouTube account

As children get older, and start trying to discover who they are, they often branch out from the outer appearance that has defined them as a sweet little child. In some cases it can be extreme.   (Or maybe he's still a sweet little child that lets his little sister play with his hair)

Deborah and the kids left a couple of hours ago for a week in Fort Worth with Deborahs family. That leaves me here all alone for a week by myself. You know what that means don't you!?! Well nothing really. Nothing more than me sitting around too much watching lots of movies and eating poorly. Maybe I should spend this time doing things around the house that I have neglected since the last time they were gone. Na. I've really gotten into the band Gnarls Barkley lately. They're kind of a mixture between funk and 60's soul. I think today alone I've listened to the song "Smiley Faces" probably 30 times. I can do that with a song I really like, just listen to it over and over. And with no one in the house to be irritated by it, thats just what I'll do. It's good to have goals.

I went and bought a fountain drink on my lunch break. And I have a toothpick in my mouth right now. Those two things combined reminded me of what my best friend did to me once. I'm sure given the previous clues you can guess what it was. In fact I think somewhere on this website, or some previous incarnation of it, I mentioned it. My friend Amon and I were sitting in the food court in the Tulsa mall. We were about 14 or so. We had gotten something to eat, some kind of sandwhich, and it had little plastic sword toothpicks in it holding the paper around it. We sat down at the table and he took his and stabbed it into my styrofoam cup of coke. I had to leave it in there because now there was a toothpick sword shaped hole in my cup, and that was the only thing I had to plug it up. So I had to drink my coke with a sword sticking out of the side of it. That plus spilling something else on my shirt and leaving a nice big stain made it a trip to the mall I would just like to forget. But 20

I'm at my parents house for the weekend. It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep because of the constant barking of the dog two houses away. After lying in bed for about 30 minutes and it not shutting up, I finally got up to see who's dog it was. Ok, two houses to the south...so now what? My first thought was to walk down there and bang on their front door and start my whining. But not being from around here, being in a pair of boxer shorts and an old t-shirt, not having shaved in 2 days, and having bed head, all lead me to believe that is a poor choice. So, I thought I would get the address and call my friends at the local police department. So I thought, how do I get the house number. Once again, I could take a stroll down the street in the middle of the night. Dont really want to because of the previously mentioned reasons, plus opening the front door would probably wake up some of the others in the house. So I headed to the internet. I'm here...now what. I kn

If I was an inmate on death row, and my time was almost up, and I was asked what I wanted for my last meal....I think I would pick the all-you-can-eat-buffet. Guard: "Come on Mr. Mass-Murderer, It's time to go." Mass-Murderer: "Oh I'd like to, but I'm not done eating yet."

I was thinking recently about the phrase "No Regrets". You'll hear people say it sometimes in movies on their deathbed, or you know, "If I died today, I'd have no regrets". You know what.....that's just a big old bunch of poo. To say that indicates that you'd never have made one mistake in your life. Sure some mistakes actually lead to better things....I know a few people that 'whoops', had an unexpected child because they were doing things without any precautions (or before they should have been). Sure, I would never call that a regret because you get a kid out of the deal. But I can't really imagine someone saying "Nope, I don't regret speeding one bit and getting a $200 ticket and my insurance rates going up" or "Hey remember that time I ate the bad burrito and was on the toilet all night. It was pretty nasty but I sure don't regret it one bit." I know really they're referring to something more deep. The

Win 2, then drop 4 in a row. Good work fellas.

I've lived in my current home for 3 and half years now, and have come to the conclusion that it might be haunted. Not bloody corpses or white ghosts floating around, just odd occurances. The first occurance was one night a year or so ago. One of out kids woke up in the middle of the night crying and my wife got up to check. As she was walking towards their room she saw me following her down the hall to go with her to check on our child. But I didn't follow her all the way there. In fact when she went back to bed, I was still there. I had never moved. I dont know who or what was following her. Occurance 2 came recently. My kids were out of town for the week, staying at their grandparents. My son has a lamp in his room that has a glass tube and when turned on a blue electrical current dances around in the tube. The lamp was on. The lamp is never on. I didn't turn it on. My wife didn't turn it on. My 4 year old wouldn't have a clue how to turn it on. Occurance 3 was Fr

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I really dont know whats up with some people, they have no shame. If you're at work, and you're heading down the hall, and you have a magazine under your arm, it's no secret what you're heading to do. You might has well be walking down the hall with a marching band behind you yelling at the top of your lungs, "I have to POOP!". Please spare us the horrible thought and be a little more discreet next time.

I was looking at the WayBack Machine this morning at some of my old websites. Here was a blog entry of mine from 3 years ago today: Friday Well it's Friday and in a few hours my short work week will be over. Most of yesterday I kept thinking it was Monday seeing as how I didn't work Tuesday and Wednesday. Now the weekend awaits with open arms, where it will promptly grab me and kick me in the nuts.

Maybe I didn't really need to know how to pronounce his name correctly: (Hint: See "Pronounced")

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!... -- Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you.... -- have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love... -- After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life... -- I never believed in Hell until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... -- that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me... -- Like the need for therapy." "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!... -- I never knew what evil was before this!" "Before you go,... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. -- You'll probably need it again." "Someday I hope to get ma

This is the message I got today on my cell phone voice mail in reference to my outgoing message: "You absolutely sound nuts on your message." It was a wrong number. Thanks lady.

Thats the quantity of hamburgers and hotdogs I had for dinner tonight. We attended a thank-you cookout for our work in a program at our church. Its an annual event. But this year few families showed up and there was lots of food left over. So I tried to help take up the slack. I'm regretting it now. On a totally unrelated note, I am really confused why I am having trouble losing weight lately. Very strange.

I guess it is time to reveal the mysterious secrets surrounding this website. For years I have labored to hide a centuries old truth concerning my family. But now, the time has come to let to truth be known. It has really been there all along, hidden right in front of you, but you never noticed. But today is the day. Today the world finds out that... All About Bentley is really an anagram for: "Abalone Butt Yell" or was it "Eyeball Butt Loan" and we cant forget "Ballet Bounty Ale" or "Telltale Buoy Ban"

Or so they say. Haven't really read the details yet. But while I do, enjoy some music: Purple Haze (5 minutes later). Oh I see, you have to create an account first. Only asked my name and email address though. Still pretty cool I guess.

With the recent news that ABC will be moving "Grey's Anatomy" to Thursday nights, I now have quite a problem on my hands: Three of my favorite shows will be on at the same time. First was "CSI" on CBS. That was fine, thats what I watched Thursdays at 8 central. Then came "My Name is Earl" and "The Office" on NBC. Still no problem, I just DVR'd both of them and watched one live, and the other later. But now ABC is moving Grey to Thursdays at the same time.... my DVR only has 2 tuners, so I can only record/watch 2 shows at once. I might have to get a second DVR for the bedroom.

It's an interesting question. I'm not referring to the hand-holding, free-love, save-the-planet, kumbaya singing, nurturing, Stuart Smalley self love. I mean, if somehow, I was cloned, or had a long lost identical twin, and I met myself and hung out with myself....would I like myself? Those that know me, and I dont mean have a class with me at church, or have worked on a project with me at work.....those that really know me, know I like nothing more than stupid jokes, bad puns, hearing a phrase and singing it to a tune of a popular song, dumb, goofy, weird, silliness. And it seems that most people I know put up with it, maybe even find me humorous. I personally find myself hilarious, but I know it's an acquired taste. But if I met myself, would I think I was funny. I fear I might just think I'm a big dork.

Update to my previous post where I stated my Kitten Cannon high score. My new score is now 2872. This was accomplished by jamming a floppy disk into the keyboard to hold down the spacebar. If you hold down the spacebar the game runs in a loop shooting kitten after kitten. Then I left for the day, letting it continue to run for about 17 hours unattended. When I came back in the next morning, there was my high score. Or the floppies. Really it should get the credit.

Someone please put me out of my misery! I'm attending a class this week in Dallas for some computer software I already know how to use. Except this is the new and improved version. Problem is they teach the class as if you've never used the software before, and rightfully so because many of the people in the class have never used it. But those of us who have, we're bored out of our minds. We're turning to vegetables. We might need to hire a nurse to walk around and wipe the drool from our mouths. According to the schedule though, we might get into some new and/or improved features tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. But I might take my pillow with me, just in case. On a related note, I scored 1855 on Kitten Cannon. Did I say related? I mean non-related....I was playing on my own time of course...really I was.

I'm in Dallas this week taking a class for work. While the idea of relaxing in a hotel room for 4 days, and eating every meal out sounds like a good thing, it sure gets old fast. I'm already looking forward to getting back home, and it's only Monday. And speaking of dining out, so far I've had 2 burgers, 2 orders of fries, a chocolate shake, and an oatmeal cream pie. So its not like I'm having extravagant meals. I'm eating like a college student...Unfortunately I have the body of a middle aged man. Maybe tonight I'll opt for a more grown-up meal; maybe some steak, or chicken. And of course some awesome dessert, or maybe I'll stop by Starbucks. I think that finally, this weekend, the first weekend in a long long time, we have nothing scheduled. We can sleep in on Saturday, and get a nice nap in on Sunday after church. It's been months since we just came home from church and took a break. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm on call at work this week. I got paged an hour ago with a problem. I was praying it was something small and I could quickly get back into bed. I had to involve another department and wake one of their guys up. He's looking into my problem all the while telling me that the way we are doing what we're doing is wrong and there wouldn't be a problem if we had done "x...y...z". No kidding. I'm well aware of that. I didn't write the application, and I had the same concern during design. I passed those concerns along and was told that was the only option. Whatever. Learn from your mistakes. Except now its haunting me again a year and half later because *I'M* the one that has to get up in the middle of the night. Very frustrating. And then my laptop lost its VPN connection and I can't get back on. So...at least it's Friday.

I would like to propose a change to the English language. This change is in the area of our numbering system and would make it more consistent. I would like to start first with the words "First, Second and Third". I think it would make more sense if they become "Oneth, Twoth, Threeth". This would cause them to then fall in line with those that follow, "Fourth, Fifth, Sixth" and so on. Next I would like to move on to our numbering system, specifically the numbers 10-19. I think they should be changed as follows: Currently New Ten Onety Eleven Onety-one Twelve Onety-two Thirteen Onety-three Fourteen Onety-four Fifteen Onety-five Sixteen Onety-six Seventeen Onety-seven Eighteen Onety-eight Nineteen Onety-nine I think if we start with these changes, we can make the English language much easier to learn and friendlier to our foreign friends. Can I count on you? Come on, who's with me?

You scored as Remus Lupin . You are a wise and caring wizard and a good, loyal friend to boot. However sometimes in an effort to be liked by others you can let things slide by, which ordinarily you would protest about. Remus Lupin 85% Ron Weasley 80% Severus Snape 75% Hermione Granger 70% Albus Dumbledore 65% Harry Potter 60% Sirius Black 60% Ginny Weasley 50% Lord Voldemort 50% Draco Malfoy 50% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

I really have nothing to say, I just wanted to express my love for Starbucks.

Having a vendor take you to lunch but then getting caught up in a problem back at the office that excuses you from the presentation of their crappy product.

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For a minute. I needed my laptop at work today and forgot to take it. I had to go home and get it. Thats about 45 minutes round trip. Do I still get to take a lunch? Do I claim the mileage since I was asked to go home? Both good questions. I will assume the answers are "yes" and "yes" since they benefit me the most.

Well LTC is over again. We were in Tulsa for a little over 24 hours, but it felt much longer. We left the house at about 12:30 on Friday to do some work at church . Then we joined the caravan to Tulsa at 2. Got there about 3:30, and from then until we left Saturday evening it was just a whole bunch of hurry-up-and-wait. There were constant trips between the Tulsa Convention Center and the Doubletree across the street, where our church reserved a suite. It was our gathering place for meals and information. But there are only about 4 places to sit. Other than sleeping in my hotel room at the Courtyard, I was standing for the majority of the trip. It's exhausting. The kids looked most forward to swimming in the hotel pool. We got back to the hotel Friday night and got down to the pool at around 10:35. The pool closes at 11:00. The kids went in knowing they were only going to get about 20 minutes of swimming. Oh but wait. What's that? Some kid cut his foot on something in the pool

I took another one of those online tests. You know the ones, "What OS are you" or "What's Your Nerd Score". This one determined your color. I answered all the questions truthfully. This is what it came up with: "Your color is black . The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's

Coke Coca-Cola Diet Coke I like Coke I drink Coke I snort...wait no

Goodbye Bachelor Week Welcome Back South Beach

Hi, I'm Sadie. If you come out in the yard with me I'll play with you for as long as you want. I'll be your constant companion. I'll give you unconditional love. If you let me I will sit in your lap and snuggle with you. I will rub my cold nose on you and kiss you all over your face. Oh, and I eat my own poop.

Tomorrow night is the final evening of bachelor week. Since I'll be spending it doing laundry and cleaning the house, tonight is the true last night. So here's the final list of movies I watched during bachelor week: Crash The Island Along Came Polly Walking Tall Saw Saw II Meet the Fockers Flight Plan Stealth Men of Honor Four Brothers While none stood out as a great movie, I think I liked "The Island" the best.

I'm a bachelor this week while the wife and kids are in Fort Worth. They just left yesterday morning and I've already done quite a bit of damage to my list of "bachelor week" movies. Here's the list so far, in order: Crash The Island Along Came Polly Walking Tall Saw Saw II

Back when I had my very first blog I wrote quite a bit, and some of it was even interesting. At the time I used blogger, but instead of having a blogger only sight I ran my own site and just had blogger ftp my blog entries over to my server. More than likely what you just read was "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah". Am I right? Anyway, this blog is not a complete list of every entry I have ever made. But I do have many of them on one of my old PCs. Following are entries from the first day I ever blogged: Wednesday, January 09, 2002 Ahhhhh... Well we went to a different church tonight and it was great. There were a few couples from our old church there and I believe more are to follow. Plus there are other people that we already know that go there, some that we went to church with in the past, some that we knew in college. It was a huge breath of fresh air. We're going to go back on Sunday...and probably every other Sunday and Wednesday night for a long while. posted by

Spring forced me into the great outdoors today. I went out into my front yard to pull weeds and do some watering. My next door neighbor is a single mom and if she sees me outside she tells me about problems she's having with her house or car or whatever. Todays issue was slightly different: Her: "Hello Scott, how are you?" Me: "I'm fine how are you doing?" Her: "Good. Do you smell that smell?" Me: "Hm...not really. What does it smell like?" Her: [Short Pause]"....um....like a dead body." Maybe I'll just concentrate on the backyard this summer.

While I'm not the best at keeping this blog updated, I've found that lately I don't do so much thinking about things going on around me as I do blinking. No wait thats what you do with your eyes. Maybe its calling thogging. Well I dont know what you call it but its where instead of thinking about the things going on around me, I'm composing a blog entry about it in my head. If I would ever actually go to the computer right then and actually blog it, I'd have a pretty nice site here, with lots of fresh content.

My son will be a teenager next year. Granted his birhtday isn't until the end of December, so its really almost two years away, but the thought of the whole thing makes me want to throw up. I can't possibly be the parent of a teenager. Not yet. I'm not really that old am I?

I'm sick of the look of this site. I originally made it about 3 years ago and I never even finished it. My CSS is crap, my sidebars are incomplete. I want to go back to the good old days where I hosted it myself and my site was completely interactive. Stupid Cox blocking port 80. Here's some looks I've had over the years. It doesn't go back all the way to the beginning but its fun to look at.

While I dont want to be a nerd, I work in the area of computers, so I still don't know if I should be relieved by this score, or worried.

I'm currently in the process of copying all of my VHS-C tapes to VHS. From there I will copy them to DVD, but thats another story. I have a lot more video than I remembered. Its interesting to see things progress when you're watching 8 years of video over the span of two days. One major progression was that of my old house. While there wasn't really a ton of video, what I did have brought back lots of memories. Most of it involving me spending money on my old money pit. I thought I would try and remember all of the work that was done on it: New roof (part of the sale though, didn't have to pay for it) Aluminum siding Planted two trees in the front yard Entire lawn transformed from dirt and weeds to plush green grass New garage door New garage door opener New side garage door Replaced side garage door light with motion flood light Replaced front screen door with all glass storm door Replaced front porch light Added electrical outlet near front door (there were no outlets

When my wife and I were first married, and had all the answers, we always said that if we had a dog it would live in the house. I mean why have it if you're not going to love it, play with it, and give it unlimited attention. Well when we moved into our new house 3 years ago the decision was made for our beagle to start a new life of outdoor living. Periodically my wife and kids ask if the dog can start living in the house again, but I always resist. And here's why. Its currently 18 degrees outside. The dog spent the night in the garage. I've just let her out to go pee in the backyard. As I'm letting her back in and she's making the short trip from the back door to the garage door I think, "I'll throw her a bone and let her wander around inside for a minute while I clean out her water dish and fill up her food bowl". That thought vanished very quickly while in stride, she threw up on the kitchen floor. Stupid dog.

My Smackdown Superstar cousin has his own action figure !

The Adventures of Dr. McNinja

Well after about a year or so I've finally emptied my Junk E-Mail folder at home. I've let it gather up email and never read it so at a quick glance I can see how many messages are in it. It was at 10071. I thought I would start 2006 ( a few days late but oh well) over and see how many I get this year.