All About Bentley

Christmas was barely over for 12 hours and our house was free of any sign of it. By 1:00pm today I had all the outside lights and decorations down and packed away, and my wife had done the same in the house. Back to the real world I guess.

There have been few times in my life where I have felt totally relexed, completely calm inside, no worries, totally at ease. Typically there is always something looming in the future; a book report or project when I was younger, and now that I'm older, just everyday responsibilities. But there was one day that I can remember being so at ease, so relaxed, that it was almost euphoric. I was probably around 10, I dont rememeber exactly...I was old enough to walk home from school by myself but young enough to still like Merry Melodies cartoons. It was the last day of school before Christmas break. I had walked home at the end of the day, turned on the TV to some cartoons, just layed down on the couch, and had the sense of 100% complete relaxation come over me. No school for a few weeks, too young to have much responsibility, Christmas would be in a few days, everything was right with my world. I could use a few more of those days every now and then.

Ok you're all a bunch of Scrooges. You're ruining Christmas for me, you know that? Thanks for nothing! I just came back from my family tradition of driving around looking at Christmas lights on houses. I'd say that less than 1% of people had lights up. Is it too much to ask to have a little Christmas Spirit? Yes not everyone in the world is a Christian and not everyone celebrates Christmas...but I live in the bible belt, so the percentage of christians here is pretty high. So whats your problem? Just too lazy or you're just a big fat Scrooge? Merry freakin' Christmas.

Ok they're not really my favorite, the Cowboys are still #1, but hey, why not jump on the bandwagon of a team thats 11-0.

Things I have observed while traveling on the highway: People don't like to be passed by a mini-van. If you start to pass them, they speed up. When you approach a town, gas station or a McDonalds along the highway, you start encountering a cluster of cars about a mile before you get there. Once you pass it, the traffic thins out again. And there might not be anyone exiting or entering the highway. If there is a tractor-trailer or some slow moving car in the right lane, and most cars start changing over to the left lane, there's always some idiot that changes over to the right lane because its shorter. They start speeding up, trapping themselves behind the obstacle. It seems that they have to get right up behind it before, "Well hey, this car is moving slow, I need to get in the left lane". If you're a jerk like me you speed up and ride the car in front of you so the idiot can't get back over.

Its that time of year boys and girls.

With it only being 3 or 4 weeks until I put my Christmas lights on my house, I thought I would Google "Christmas Lights" to see if I could get any ideas. Behold, the perfect lighting plan . "Are you serious Clark?"

This is another one of our jack-o-lanterns.

One of the jack-o-lanterns we made this year.

Last night my daughter came out of her bathroom, headed into the living room, saw me on the couch and said: Daughter: "Hey dad" Me: "Yeah, wh...." Daughter: (Cutting me off because she sees mom and would rather tell her) "Mom theres poo on the bathroom floor!" Mom: "What?...ZANE DID YOU GO POTTY AND GET SOME ON THE FLOOR?!?!?!" Me: (quietly to myself) "Nasty" Mom went and cleaned it up. Close one.

I may have posted this before, but its worthy of a second posting. About 8 years ago I worked at a college in the computer center. In addition to being in charge of all the computers and the campus computer network, we also managed the phone connectivity. In the back room of a our building was a huge wall where all of the phone connections came in. It was a wall of tons and tons of individual wires. I was at work one night after everyone else had gone home. I was poking around in the area where all the phone wires were and noticed the phone tester thingy hanging on the wall. It has two little clamps that you clamp on to a pair of phone wires, and you can talk on that phone line. I've seen some of the guys use this thing before. I think I'll try it out. I picked a random pair of wires, put the phone up to my ear and playing around say "hello?". From the phone I hear "Is this Scott?". ME: (Terrified and very confused) "Yes!?" CALLER: "Is (some n

I was watching the OU / Kansas State game Saturday on TV. I saw Barry Switzer walking the sidelines. Me: "There's the King" Tanner: "Who is he?" Me: "Barry Switzer." Tanner: "Is he the king of Switzerland." Tanner's hilarious.

This is just an awesome story.

The people impacted by hurricaine Katrina need your support. I dont give a crap if you have to wait another year to get that big screen TV or that new motorcycle, these people have nothing. Whip out your credit card and click the Red Cross below:

Another fine day in kindergarten. We're sitting in a large circle listening to a story, or singing, or making something, dont remember really but thats not the point. I just know that all of a sudden the kid next to me throws up and it gets all over my leg. "Oh no, I have throw up all over my leg. It stinks. Its gross. AAAAAHHHH!!!!. Everyone is looking my way. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!". The teacher cleaned him up, cleaned me up, cleaned the floor up. Later that evening after I had been at home for quite a while I told my mom what had happened. "You mean you've been walking around all day in jeans that have throw up on them". "No," I responded, "my teacher wiped it off".

One day in kindergarten I went into the little boys room and walked into the stall to do #1. I noticed that in someones attempt to do #2 they had missed. How you miss #2 I dont know. I dont think I want to know. But there was some #2 right there on the floor. I should have left and walked to the next stall. I didn't. Instead I just thought to myself, "I need to remember that is there so when I'm done doing what I'm doing I dont step on it". I was 6. I forgot. I left the bathroom and I walked back into the classroom and within minutes I hear the teacher say "Ok everyone, stop and check the bottom of your shoes". I turned and looked towards the restrooms and saw my tracks. I was scared. I had tracked #2 across the room. I dont remember what happened next.

Today's traumatic moment occurred when I was probably no older than 5 or 6. This too took place at the local Safeway...I think. As I've gotten older my memory has gotten a little cloudy so some of the details are guesses at best, but they make no difference. I waited in the car with my 3 older sisters while my mom ran in the store to grab something. She left the car running, the 4 of us began goofing around a little too much...and somehow the parking brake came off, or we knocked the car into neutral or something, and the 4 of us starting rolling across the parking lot. A nearby shopper saw our dilemma and ran over, hoped in the car, and stopped us. I guess this traumatic moment could be viewed as truly traumatic. But most are not like this. As I post more you will see what I mean.

I'm always telling my wife amount traumatic moments I had as a child. Not life-threatening moments, or memorys of a loved one dying, but odd events that as a shy child bothered me more than they should have. Moment number 1: I was walking through the local Safeway with my mom. I was probably between 5-8 years old. We were going down the COLA:SODA:POP:COKE (depending on where you live. I'll call it POP) aisle. There was a large bottle of POP sitting in the middle of the aisle. This was back before the days of plastic 2-liter bottles. I tried to step over it, incidentally kicked it, broke it, and sent glass and POP flying down the aisle. I stood there with sticky wet jeans while my mom found a store employee. I thought they were going to kick me out of the store or make me pay for the bottle of POP. I was very scared It was very traumatic. Stay tuned for my second installment, coming soon.

Christmas, birthday, whatever, I don't care what the occasion is, I just want this: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0009EXVIA/102-8017728-2173723?v=glance

More Information Here

Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff. Ba-dum-ching.

I can't get enough of Black Eyed Peas (the band, not the food). I just keep listening to the first two tracks off of "Monkey Business" over and over and over. I'm probably driving everyone around me crazy. I'm like that with any song(s) that I like though. I just listen to it over and over until I can't stand it anymore. I have an addiction to music I think. Previous victims: "Hey Ya" by OutKast and "Duality" by Slipknot.

I received some marketing package today from some software company with a compass and an invitation to visit their website If I filled out a form answering questions about my job, I would receive a free Garmin eTREX GPS. I filled the form out 3 times before it offered to give me my new toy. I wonder if its random, or based on your form responses, or some other criteria. But it is apparent that not everyone gets one, unless of course they are persistent like me. Anyway, now I have to just sit back and wait and see if it actually shows up.

For some reason today I remembered an argument I had with someone many years ago. Lets just say that time is currently 3:45. They said something about it being 4:00. "No, its 3:45" was my reply. They came back with, "Well, its 4:00 somewhere". ME: "No its not" THEM: "Yes it is, somewhere its 4:00" ME: "No, it might be 4:45 somewhere, but it's not 4:00" THEM: "Yes it is. It is 4:00 somewhere" ME: "What are you talking about? If its 3:45 now then its "something 45" everywhere...the minutes are the same, its only the hours that change as you move across time zones" THEM: "It's 4:00 somewhere" Ok, fine whatever. You want to be right so bad that you are totally abandoning all common sense.

I needed to reinstall a program on my computer at work today. I went to Add or Remove programs to uninstall it first. It took 2 hours to load the list of currently installed programs. It started at 7:40 and ended at 9:35. Nice work Bill, slap your programmers on the back for me. If my computer was making a little detour to fix something or gather some data that isn't typically needed, how about a nice little status bar or some type of warning. Two hours? Really? Yes.

My dad and I live about 150 miles apart. I called him on Fathers day only to find out that we had both gone to the same restaurant for Fathers Day lunch, in our respective towns. And we each ordered the same thing, the Fathers Day special all-you-can-eat ribs for $9.99, and we ordered the same sides, french fries and beans. Spooky.

http://www.cafepress.com/whosyadaddy

http://www.linuxhomenetworking.com/linux-hn/wmp11-linux.htm

Me and my date at the Girl Scouts Father-Daughter 50's bowling night.

In Relocate Americas top 100 places to live for 2005 two Oklahoma towns are listed in the top 5. I grew up in number 5, and now live in number 4. I guess my next home should be in Yuma, Arizona.

I have used that title for a previous post, but that was pre-blogger I think. Anyway, for 1 week I am a bachelor. My wife and kids are at the in-laws for the week. During this time I will try to get some work done around the house. Things I cant do with a 3 year old following me around. Since the house has had 2 years to settle some of the crown molding has separated and needs to be caulked and the paint touched up. There are about 10 nail holes that need to be filled and painted. The curtains need to be ironed. Yes I iron the curtains. Once a year. They are linen and a pain in the rear to iron. I do it because its much easier for me to take them down then for my petite little wife. Plus, once again, the 3 year old. Don't need him running around while the ironing board and iron are out in the middle of the room. In addition to the chores, I also use this time to catch up on my man movies. I'm a pretty nice guy and don't subject my wife to action movies when we go rent somet

Something that has never happened to me in my entire life will soon happen. It's going to be any day now. And it's not something I'm looking forward to. Yes, to my horror, I think that some day soon, I will be forced to pay over $2.00 for a gallon of gasoline. What sucks is that the 2 closest places to fill up where some of the cheapest in the metropolitan area . But not now. Not for many months. If it gets worse I might even be forced to use an expletive. In fact I just did. Luckily you weren't here. It was a bad one. Stupid gas prices.

There are 3 high schools in the town where I now live. I tend to support the one where my kids will go starting in about 5 years. Last night that high school won the boys class 6A state championship in basketball. Unfortunately it was against my hometown high school.

Thats what my 3 year old calls Target.

I forgot I even had this. Took this shortly before construction started.

Just found this to be very typical. I thought I'd play a game of internet checkers tonight. My opponent was from France (or at least thats what the game said). Things were going along pretty quickly but then it down to 4 checkers to 2, in my favor. I finally got him cornered so that he would have to put himself into a position for me to jump him. The little weazel left the game. Typical French quitter. What a weiner.

Michael Jackson Trial Martha Stewart out of Prison Just curious how my hits will go up

Is that something guys usually say? Am I becoming a woman? Well either way I gotta get rid of some of this lard hanging around my middle.

This is is a list I compiled a few years ago of things not to do Dont turn left out of the right lane if there is a policeman watching - OOPS! Dont hold officers at bay Dont invite young boys to stay at your Neverland Ranch If you do dont fondle them and look at internet porn If you are a high school teacher (or anyone else for that matter) dont hide a video camera in the girls locker room If you are a high school teacher dont fondle and kiss a 15 year old Dont shake a baby Dont kill your classmates Dont kill your parents In fact, dont kill anyone Dont have a baby while at the prom and then throw it away Dont have a baby in your bedroom and then leave it at your neighbors back door in the cold for 2 days where it will later die Dont long for attention so bad that you strap your kids into the back seat of your car and then send it into the lake Dont kill your ex-wife and a waiter Dont blow up a building with people in it Dont send mail bombs (except maybe email bombs, those are funny) D

We've been doing some other shopping too:

We have been waiting for 2 years to get new furniture for our living room. After searching for about 5 days straight we finally found the tables we want: Storage Cocktail Table Chairside Chest

So now BlockBuster has a new Unlimited Movie Rental service similar to the one by Netflix. It almost sounds like a good idea; $14.99 a month for all the dvds you can watch, granted you are relying on the postal service to get them to you, and you can have no more than 3 at once. But you also get 2 coupons for free in-store rentals every month. But then I think that we typically rent one move a week, for about $3.99, which would come out to around $16-20 depending on the month, if we rent every week, which we dont. Typically we rent about 3 a month, so thats $12. But I would watch more movies if I had them. But then again I dont need another excuse to sit on the couch. Decisions decisions. I think I'll pass.

I dont read all that much, but I had heard so many people talking about "The Davinci Code" that I asked for it for Christmas of 2003. Since that time I have constantly been reading something. In the past year I have read the following books: by Dan Brow The Davinci Code Angels and Demons Digtal Fortress by Lee Child Killing Floor Die Trying Tripwire Running Blind Echo Burning Without Fail Persuader by David Baldacci Split Second by John Grisham Bleachers

Numa Numa Dance - presented by Newgrounds.com

Choo Chooooo

My oldest son. I'm so proud. I'm getting all choked up.

I guess there's something about Valentines day that gets people to write in their blogs. I was bored earlier so I kept clicking on that "Next Blog" button you'll find up there in the top right corner of your browser. Almost every blog it took me to had a post for todays date. And not everyone was commenting on todays holiday. Maybe it's not Valentines day, maybe it's just that people post more on Monday. Either way I just enjoyed seeing lots of blog activity today. Well speaking of Valentines day, I was glad to find that The Love Calculator gave my wife and me a ranking of 76%. Thats not perfect, but I put my name in with some others and got a much lower score. Not one other womans name that I have ever had any type of romantic link with (even just a crush) was as high. For example, Scott + Shania only got 33%. So I think thats pretty cool.

IFILM - Super Bowl Ads

My home away from home.

I've seen a few home videos of the high tsunami waves coming up on shore, but this gives you a much better idea of the devestation. Tsunami - Banda Aceh Shore, Indonesia If you would like to make a donation to assist the victims, you can do so through Amazon.com

Vote for Pedro

I found this great deal on a 40 hour TiVo recently. But there's a small catch. First of all, it's $149 with a $100 rebate. Great, just $49 for a TiVo. I had it in my virtual shopping cart, rolling to the checkout. Oh wait, you have to sign up for the TiVo service before you can get your rebate. What if I dont want the service? What if I just want to use it for instant replays or commercial skip. Ok, so my buddy is telling me the lifetime service is just $200. A little steep, but I'll look into it. Ahhhhh...since he signed up its gone up to $300. So I guess for now a TiVo is still just a dream for me. UPDATE (1/26/2005) - This deal is no longer available.

Dont shoot your wife in the face with a rubberband.

Oh goody, I'm 36.

Well somebody had to say it.

On February 9, 2004 I started the South Beach Diet. Just another fad diet I figured. I assumed I would get off it in a few days and stay fat forever. Well I didn't. I lost about 35 pounds. The first few weeks sucked but after that it wasn't so bad. But over Thanksgiving and Christmas I put on about 8 pounds. Started South Beach all over again, it's been only 10 days and that weight is off. Now it will be interesting to see if I keep falling fast past where I was before I gained again. I hope so because I hit a ceiling and would like to get past it. My birthday is Sunday though so it's going to be tricky...cake, eating out etc. No, I dont have to partake in a Birthday cake, and could eat sensibly when I ate out, but I dont want to, it's my birthday.

This is the first picture I ever took with my first digital camera , on January 9, 2001. It was a birthday gift to myself. I used it until I got a new one this past Christmas. And it still works great.

Well here's my new site, at least for now. My old web hosting service is in the process of going out of business so I just moved on. My good friend Mark was kind enough to lend me some DNS and a redirect so I could send folks here with my old site name, www.allaboutbentley.com. I've always liked blogger anyway, it's what I used when I first started blogging. Would be nice if I could figure out if and how I can get my entries from my old site into this blog. But for now, this is what I have.

Ok, maybe Zane and a Fudgsicle were a bad combination