The List
This is is a list I compiled a few years ago of things not to do
Dont turn left out of the right lane if there is a policeman watching - OOPS!
Dont hold officers at bay
Dont invite young boys to stay at your Neverland Ranch
If you do dont fondle them and look at internet porn
If you are a high school teacher (or anyone else for that matter) dont hide a video camera in the girls locker room
If you are a high school teacher dont fondle and kiss a 15 year old
Dont shake a baby
Dont kill your classmates
Dont kill your parents
In fact, dont kill anyone
Dont have a baby while at the prom and then throw it away
Dont have a baby in your bedroom and then leave it at your neighbors back door in the cold for 2 days where it will later die
Dont long for attention so bad that you strap your kids into the back seat of your car and then send it into the lake
Dont kill your ex-wife and a waiter
Dont blow up a building with people in it
Dont send mail bombs (except maybe email bombs, those are funny)
Dont worship the devil
Dont freak out over Harry Potter books and try to have them banned, its just a freaking story you morons.
Dont read Harry Potter books and then try to do magic, its just a freaking story you morons
Dont come to my wifes office acting like you want a tour of the facility and then have your buddy steal her purse
Dont ride your bike through my yard
Dont touch or spit on my mailbox when you walk by my house
(starting to get a little personal, let me get back on track here)
Dont shoot arrows into your neighbors siding
Dont get mad at someone while driving, chase them into their house and shoot them
Dont get mad at someone while driving and run them off the road and kill them
Dont load a bunch of kids into the bed of a pickup and then head off down the highway..even if you DO have a camper on the back
Dont smoke pot, it's expensive, its illegal and it stinks. If you've got a medical condition and it makes you feel better, fine, whatever. But if you're just doing it to catch a buzz, just go smack your head up against the wall, its cheaper
Dont get drunk. You just end up acting like a dumbass (or maybe that was why you got drunk..dont know)
Dont buy things you cant afford. So what if your friends just got a big house, they're probably going to have to work until the day they die to pay for it
Dont charge things on your credit card unless you intend to pay for it at the end of the month
Dont cheat on your spouse. Why get married if you're just going to do that crap?
Dont fool around in the Oval Office
Dont be a bandwagon sports fan. There were so many OU Sooners flags on car windows around the time they went to the Orange Bowl. Now where are they? If you like them, then like them 100% of the time.
Dont turn left out of the right lane if there is a policeman watching - OOPS!
Dont hold officers at bay
Dont invite young boys to stay at your Neverland Ranch
If you do dont fondle them and look at internet porn
If you are a high school teacher (or anyone else for that matter) dont hide a video camera in the girls locker room
If you are a high school teacher dont fondle and kiss a 15 year old
Dont shake a baby
Dont kill your classmates
Dont kill your parents
In fact, dont kill anyone
Dont have a baby while at the prom and then throw it away
Dont have a baby in your bedroom and then leave it at your neighbors back door in the cold for 2 days where it will later die
Dont long for attention so bad that you strap your kids into the back seat of your car and then send it into the lake
Dont kill your ex-wife and a waiter
Dont blow up a building with people in it
Dont send mail bombs (except maybe email bombs, those are funny)
Dont worship the devil
Dont freak out over Harry Potter books and try to have them banned, its just a freaking story you morons.
Dont read Harry Potter books and then try to do magic, its just a freaking story you morons
Dont come to my wifes office acting like you want a tour of the facility and then have your buddy steal her purse
Dont ride your bike through my yard
Dont touch or spit on my mailbox when you walk by my house
(starting to get a little personal, let me get back on track here)
Dont shoot arrows into your neighbors siding
Dont get mad at someone while driving, chase them into their house and shoot them
Dont get mad at someone while driving and run them off the road and kill them
Dont load a bunch of kids into the bed of a pickup and then head off down the highway..even if you DO have a camper on the back
Dont smoke pot, it's expensive, its illegal and it stinks. If you've got a medical condition and it makes you feel better, fine, whatever. But if you're just doing it to catch a buzz, just go smack your head up against the wall, its cheaper
Dont get drunk. You just end up acting like a dumbass (or maybe that was why you got drunk..dont know)
Dont buy things you cant afford. So what if your friends just got a big house, they're probably going to have to work until the day they die to pay for it
Dont charge things on your credit card unless you intend to pay for it at the end of the month
Dont cheat on your spouse. Why get married if you're just going to do that crap?
Dont fool around in the Oval Office
Dont be a bandwagon sports fan. There were so many OU Sooners flags on car windows around the time they went to the Orange Bowl. Now where are they? If you like them, then like them 100% of the time.
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