All About Bentley

First entry from my new phone

Hey see that advertisement over there to the right? That long skinny picture? Yeah thats it. Well everytime someone clicks on that, I earn money. And every time I earn $100 I get a big fat check. And I'm only $81.70 away from getting that. And I've only been doing this for a year. Thats right, only one year. So be the person that sends me over the top. Click that advertisement today! Put me over the $100 mark and I can retire sooner than my portfolio would suggest. Thank you people, thank you.

Here are a few things I overheard while at my in-laws this past weekend: "You probably haven't seen that much weiner since high school" "Oh yeah, I've had your meat before".

I'm working on a big project at work this week. Something that is excusing me from the normal interruptions that typically consume about 75% of my time. To help keep me moving forward, instead of listening to my music softly through my PC speakers as I usually do, I've put in my earbuds and cranked it up. I had to take a restroom break a little while ago, so I pulled out my earbuds and headed down the hall. Upon finishing my business and turning around to head towards the sink, I caught site of myself in the mirror. What the heck is that....that black thing in my ear. Oh its the cover for my ear bud...just sitting in there....nice.

I'm only sharing the following video because I wanted to test my new YouTube account

As children get older, and start trying to discover who they are, they often branch out from the outer appearance that has defined them as a sweet little child. In some cases it can be extreme.   (Or maybe he's still a sweet little child that lets his little sister play with his hair)

Deborah and the kids left a couple of hours ago for a week in Fort Worth with Deborahs family. That leaves me here all alone for a week by myself. You know what that means don't you!?! Well nothing really. Nothing more than me sitting around too much watching lots of movies and eating poorly. Maybe I should spend this time doing things around the house that I have neglected since the last time they were gone. Na. I've really gotten into the band Gnarls Barkley lately. They're kind of a mixture between funk and 60's soul. I think today alone I've listened to the song "Smiley Faces" probably 30 times. I can do that with a song I really like, just listen to it over and over. And with no one in the house to be irritated by it, thats just what I'll do. It's good to have goals.

I went and bought a fountain drink on my lunch break. And I have a toothpick in my mouth right now. Those two things combined reminded me of what my best friend did to me once. I'm sure given the previous clues you can guess what it was. In fact I think somewhere on this website, or some previous incarnation of it, I mentioned it. My friend Amon and I were sitting in the food court in the Tulsa mall. We were about 14 or so. We had gotten something to eat, some kind of sandwhich, and it had little plastic sword toothpicks in it holding the paper around it. We sat down at the table and he took his and stabbed it into my styrofoam cup of coke. I had to leave it in there because now there was a toothpick sword shaped hole in my cup, and that was the only thing I had to plug it up. So I had to drink my coke with a sword sticking out of the side of it. That plus spilling something else on my shirt and leaving a nice big stain made it a trip to the mall I would just like to forget. But 20...

I'm at my parents house for the weekend. It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep because of the constant barking of the dog two houses away. After lying in bed for about 30 minutes and it not shutting up, I finally got up to see who's dog it was. Ok, two houses to the south...so now what? My first thought was to walk down there and bang on their front door and start my whining. But not being from around here, being in a pair of boxer shorts and an old t-shirt, not having shaved in 2 days, and having bed head, all lead me to believe that is a poor choice. So, I thought I would get the address and call my friends at the local police department. So I thought, how do I get the house number. Once again, I could take a stroll down the street in the middle of the night. Dont really want to because of the previously mentioned reasons, plus opening the front door would probably wake up some of the others in the house. So I headed to the internet. I'm here...now what. I kn...

If I was an inmate on death row, and my time was almost up, and I was asked what I wanted for my last meal....I think I would pick the all-you-can-eat-buffet. Guard: "Come on Mr. Mass-Murderer, It's time to go." Mass-Murderer: "Oh I'd like to, but I'm not done eating yet."

I was thinking recently about the phrase "No Regrets". You'll hear people say it sometimes in movies on their deathbed, or you know, "If I died today, I'd have no regrets". You know what.....that's just a big old bunch of poo. To say that indicates that you'd never have made one mistake in your life. Sure some mistakes actually lead to better things....I know a few people that 'whoops', had an unexpected child because they were doing things without any precautions (or before they should have been). Sure, I would never call that a regret because you get a kid out of the deal. But I can't really imagine someone saying "Nope, I don't regret speeding one bit and getting a $200 ticket and my insurance rates going up" or "Hey remember that time I ate the bad burrito and was on the toilet all night. It was pretty nasty but I sure don't regret it one bit." I know really they're referring to something more deep. The...

Win 2, then drop 4 in a row. Good work fellas.

I've lived in my current home for 3 and half years now, and have come to the conclusion that it might be haunted. Not bloody corpses or white ghosts floating around, just odd occurances. The first occurance was one night a year or so ago. One of out kids woke up in the middle of the night crying and my wife got up to check. As she was walking towards their room she saw me following her down the hall to go with her to check on our child. But I didn't follow her all the way there. In fact when she went back to bed, I was still there. I had never moved. I dont know who or what was following her. Occurance 2 came recently. My kids were out of town for the week, staying at their grandparents. My son has a lamp in his room that has a glass tube and when turned on a blue electrical current dances around in the tube. The lamp was on. The lamp is never on. I didn't turn it on. My wife didn't turn it on. My 4 year old wouldn't have a clue how to turn it on. Occurance 3 was Fr...

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I really dont know whats up with some people, they have no shame. If you're at work, and you're heading down the hall, and you have a magazine under your arm, it's no secret what you're heading to do. You might has well be walking down the hall with a marching band behind you yelling at the top of your lungs, "I have to POOP!". Please spare us the horrible thought and be a little more discreet next time.