Everybody Cut Loose....

I realize this is in bad taste, and I do feel terrible for this girl, but I couldn't resist:

I feel like a real heel mentioning these things,
and some of them are kinda corny but,

Did you hear about the girl who's feet were cut off at Six Flags?
I guess the ride defeated her
Bless her soul (sole)
They were playing FootLoose over the park speakers
Apparently she was only a few feet off the ground
When she got off the ride at first she just tried to walk it off
She was in pretty bad shape but thankfully she didn't kick the bucket
On the trip to the hospital the ambulance was acting up. They were afraid they might have to tow(toe) it.
Workers at the park put their best foot forward and located her detached parts
They hoofed it to the hospital
Apparently they were only a few feet behind the ambulance
Although the woman was a teenager at first the hospital put her in the childrens ward. She was two feet shorter than the average girl her age.
Six Flags withheld any comments at first for fear of putting their foot in their mouth
They thought their selection of rides had given them a leg up on the competition
I expected more from that joint
I would imagine she's going to try and get her foot in the door for a lawsuit
She would be a shoe-in for a day in court
If Six Flags fails to pay I'm sure she'll put her foot down
Surely they wouldn't try to bone her like that
That would put her in a real jam
I'm sure she wouldn't stand for that
After that no one will ever says she's a goody-two-shoes
I bet she'll never set foot in Six Flags again
When this is all over Six Flags will note this incident in their ped-o-file (thats a stretch I know)
For more read the footnotes.
There you will find comments from her paw

-Me and my co-workers (and if I've left any out guys remind me later)