"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!... -- Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you.... -- have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love... -- After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life... -- I never believed in Hell until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... -- that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me... -- Like the need for therapy." "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!... -- I never knew what evil was before this!" "Before you go,... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. -- You'll probably need it again." "Someday I hope to get ma...